Forgiveness

What is forgiveness? The official definition is: “The act of forgiving; the act of granting pardon, as for a wrong, offense, or sin; remission of an obligation, debt, or penalty; pardon.” Another explanation from a psychological perspective is:

“Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.”

“Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.”

I believe it is just as important to forgive ourselves for our part in any situation, whether it is our “fault” or not. And really, isn’t it all about our own belief in the oneness principle? If we are all one, then the person we are forgiving is really ourselves. In order to do this in a more active way, a friend of mine suggested using the Ho’oponopono mantra, “I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”. I’ve seen it in different orders, but you get the idea. I do this with the other person in mind and then myself. Sometimes I just direct the mantra to myself, when I perceive the fault is mine. I repeat the mantra as many times as I feel I need to. Try it out and see what you think.